Upset After Class

I was like a victim trrembling @ class, like the fool I make of myself, the way I can't take it and the way no one in the world can care....

See, I kept stabbing my notebook when I was annoyed..  I did leave the room and stomp my feet and then come back in soon.  I came in and said are you gonna annoy me, like last class, and asked if someone said they were gonna kill me..  The teacher said no they didn't.  :|  I told my mom, too, but she didn't seem to care too much..  :S  I sorta felt washed ashore in death.  Like, I was murdered but left at peace..  :|  People are always at me and will never be direct with me because they think it's possible I actually want too much attention being mixed race.  I actually am feeling kinda subdued.  Maybe, it's from all the good things I did, and then I don't know why I was attacked but I'm so mad.  It seems people are really mad at me for any attention I get from Ginny, and I want to ****** them..  I just heard something..  Please, leave me alone, you dweebs..  :|  Also, I can tell in attitude my aunt is posing as a virtual ring leader rassling me for everything just because my life isn't perfect, like my dad does, and I want to * her.  ,:|  Everyone is threatening people they know not to hurt me.  ;|  Er.  Why can't peopel just be normal?  Hey, listen to me, stop with the bullcrap "online."  I'm the civilized 1.  It's okay if I live my life the way I do, I was treated unfairly, why must I base my life on comparing with how much I sacrificed of my, er, ... I dunno academic future?

Dream

I had thee coole st most terrifying dream.

There were some scenes in the corrider where someone was like acting with music I think trying to slit someone before they slit someone else.  So, my old organ teacher|choir director went in a jail cell with someone else kinda, like a mental hospital, which is horrid.  So, I went in with someone else so we could maybe get in with her..  I know Ginny was involved.  So, it was mostly about that and something like a pop Disney performance scheulde.  For some reason, I felt a lot of *** or ************ or rather I dunno ***********.  It was pretty dynamnic, that dream, but it's hard to remember, I think I was against like some flowery sheets, just some flowery sheets, like in bunched up at the base, and like hugging it like it was Ginny or something and feeling like those art drawings like of cupid or the statues of the very human figures with drapes hanging off.  I was in the mental ward with people in the halls battling against knives slitting someone else's throat, like it's the good angel against the Master of the House, defending someone, like my old organ teacher or like I saw a big baby in an aisle, a bit sadistic in sentiment, like with some pastel but like an old or like modern French cartoon..  I saw the video of me acting and for some reason I was able to act like how I saw Country Bear Jamboree, but I can't see it no more, same with the old French cartoon..  So, I was lusting for "***" in a ward with people being murdered at bodily contact, instead slicing the other.