I realzied why I was mad

She is being rebellious about social networking online.  Also, she is doing it just to me.  That is suggestive considering what I'm supposed to feel, if you know what I'm talking about..  It's just 1 more piece of bullcrap for me to have to think about.  I kinda don't want to ask her to add me on a new Facebook.. hey I did get a new Facebook.  She said she would.  She was supposed to say why she wouldn't.  She seems gay like Órla Karron Fallon.  I just get a definiitive, stuck up message from her.  Everyone else can tell she's crass.  I am so sick of this bullshit of people telling me I'm gay to want organized attention, that's why, but I'm also mad at the fact all these people in the community turn on me.  My old choir director and organ teacher has nothing to live for.  She's a * * *.  She teaches gay kids.

f.y.i.

So, Ginny posted on Facebook the day after I sent her the e-mail..  :|

I just had a revelation. 8|

Some people will never let you network among attractive people.

I don't know anyone who just doesn't answer - take my old choir director and my old theater teacher disappearing from Facebook ... my old friends..  I realize that I mean she lives here, but still..

Inappropriate

I mean I don't have family from the New Orleans area, and I am from Florida.  I don't want to listen to her crass bullshit that I didn't respond right away.  You know, I had this friend who seemed to theme that me wanting to talk to people was looking for ***.  See, she is just being flirtatious.  I see she likes me, but maybe she just isn't very active online.  I won't take her crass bullshit that she won't respond the way Tim Burton holds out.  I think it's because of him.  She might not be normal, but she seemed like a good person.  What happened to my fuckin choir director and organ teacher?  She doesn't respond much.  Haha, I know what you're thinking, too.  There was this other teacher I was supposed to talk to, but she left Facebook.

Time's Up

I've been online a long time.  You haven't figured out for me why your dad's from Penn?

Problem

I will **** you - my Y! Messenger isn't importing everything.

Y! Premium

$19.99 for a year, no other option, claimed $2- per month..

E-Mail

I got the sn's of so many kids from each class, filled an entire page of the Valencia notebook I got from some booth..

Mystery

So, Ginny was interested in me online because I was less than ½ her age.

Also, it's like no one was ever going to accept me parentally.  Why would you be "on," now?  I mean, why wouldn't you 3I

So

My old organ teacher and choir director is my friend on Facebook on multiple accounts but didn't talk to me for years.

Did you ever consider middle-aged adults online

are all the same, want to feel good, nervous about how they present themselves, like want to make it a presentation like it was important and I mean it's them they're not a robot, just like cybersex.

Hey..

So, why is my post on Renée Fleming's wall gone?  ,:[  Why doesn't anyone take me seriously?  I know what they look for in singing.  She just knows I also know how to play the piano.  I put it up there just for people to comment on, didn't want anyone to report it, was just a link to my blog..  ,:[  Also, she seems worried about how she parents her own daughters.  ,:[  1 of them is in college, though..  :|

Wrrong

YouTube is taking down 3rd party content.  The only thing that is illegal is posting videos online.  Who watches movies on their computer!

PM

So, Ginny sent me a FB Message, I have to use her home e-mail..and not post on her Facebook, like, every few days..

So, isn't her Valencia classes just crap?  That's mostly what she teaches in public.  D;  The kids are all mean to me all the time, I don't need their motherfuckin goddamn stupid retarded idiot good-for-nuthin bullshit.

Upset After Class

I was like a victim trrembling @ class, like the fool I make of myself, the way I can't take it and the way no one in the world can care....

See, I kept stabbing my notebook when I was annoyed..  I did leave the room and stomp my feet and then come back in soon.  I came in and said are you gonna annoy me, like last class, and asked if someone said they were gonna kill me..  The teacher said no they didn't.  :|  I told my mom, too, but she didn't seem to care too much..  :S  I sorta felt washed ashore in death.  Like, I was murdered but left at peace..  :|  People are always at me and will never be direct with me because they think it's possible I actually want too much attention being mixed race.  I actually am feeling kinda subdued.  Maybe, it's from all the good things I did, and then I don't know why I was attacked but I'm so mad.  It seems people are really mad at me for any attention I get from Ginny, and I want to ****** them..  I just heard something..  Please, leave me alone, you dweebs..  :|  Also, I can tell in attitude my aunt is posing as a virtual ring leader rassling me for everything just because my life isn't perfect, like my dad does, and I want to * her.  ,:|  Everyone is threatening people they know not to hurt me.  ;|  Er.  Why can't peopel just be normal?  Hey, listen to me, stop with the bullcrap "online."  I'm the civilized 1.  It's okay if I live my life the way I do, I was treated unfairly, why must I base my life on comparing with how much I sacrificed of my, er, ... I dunno academic future?

That Attitude

So, Ginny wouldn't design a website where she can block members, probably drinks more.

Also, she seems to expect us to keep up. She didn't say anything about my new posts.

She has this as a joke. She really has to have that attitude.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Also

I also noticed people aren't talking to her on Facebook.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Problems

So, these gay farts born in the mid 40s think that they said like okay it's your choice to be quality old-fashioned European.  Now, like, they just flubbed up.  Wow, what a big deal over nothing.  Talk about power at the wheel.

I got another idea that Ginny is riding along the idea I'm like my little brother.  That's totally Hellenistic.  Let's make my dad his dead brothers.  Come on, you nigger.  You dumb fuck.

What else?  I got some violent thoughts @ Lily Rose.  I got the idea she's communicated with people who know me.. and put that picture up to say that I was old like my dad and my relations go in that way to someone who is racist against me.  They worsened as my mom like chimed in, supposedly under influence of my dad.  She would get mad at these thoughts, but I mean she just gets mad if she sees me thinking mad things about her because I can't help it.  I don't know what she does when I thought of things like that.  I'm grown up, now, so it doesn't matter.  She might see there is a reason and I don't mean it and it might be other people's faults.  I didn't want to.  I finally felt theraputic and calmed down, but then my mom made me mad again by thinking it was a joke like Ellen.

Hey, why is Ginny so flippant and intent on making other successful people feel like crap?  That's no one's fault Ginny.  I don't feel sorry for the likes of you in Florida..  What the fuck is your problem?  I wonder if she is on Facebook and blocked me.  She doesn't have many new friends.  I could ask her after class.. you know, she rushes after class, but I hope it's not because of Facebook.  She can teach me once a week.  Why does she bother talking to anyone, that goddamn nigger.  Why don't we just **** her?

What's this sentiment I sound like my little brother when talking about shit like Lily Rose and "Órla" "Karron" "Fallon."  Also, stop saying I offended you by not being as ***y as my mom because her race isn't white.  What's this shit with my dad now?  I thought that was settled, you goddamn nigger.

Problem

Can you just leave me alone, you niggers?

I got a bad message, and my mom chimed in again something that annoyed me, like she's younger, why?  I never wanted to be older, in that way..  Look, stop being a bastard on the net- and being so gay!  If you don't know, people are different online.  It's some suggestion they let out.  In real life, it's different.  You go online and expect to find that you're good and that others are enwrapped in some other culture.

What about my future kids?  Someone may want to hurt them.  I don't want to deal with that fantasy.

Why are people like Tim Burton starting ooh look how much work we went into to give you this message, this nasty message, that you can't have this you can't have that, your dad is old.  He was only 35 when I was born.

Where You're From

I'm not from Pennsylvania, but I've been there lots of times.  I mean, I have a friend who moved to Florida from New Jersey, and she's very modern, seems very Floridian.  My other friend from Boston is very urban but lives in a country house.  I moved back to Florida from New Orleans, and I feel rather numb.  So, my point is, I think it's some prejudice about me having a dad from Pennsylvania.  People tend to like Boston and NYC.  Maine is the only other state by the water.  So, the U.S. is pretty small.  I don't know why New Jersey would be cooler than Boston.  NYC is just an island.  I think people from Pennsylvania try to move out.  They seem stuck in some cheesy Irish situation.  People with more recent ancestors from Ireland often settle through Pennsylvania.  I saw the ancestry.  There are lots of people with ancestors partly from Pennsylvania, which makes them mixed.  It means they're out in being non-Pennsylvanian, or a "normal" American.  They'll just find themselves tied to it in some ways..  Look for places like Chicago, Detroit ... Milwaukee.  There's nothing in Pennsylvania but the Pennsylvania Dutch, which are also bowled over in racism.  There is nothing wrong with the Swiss, but the Germans use it as a racial barrier with the Italians because they are antsy about all the Jews infested in their lowlands since the Middle Ages.  Then, you'll find all the places in the big west.  I'm not sure who they're providing for, probably people from Pennsylvania and New York who've moved to places in the South, urban areas like Florida and New Orleans.  I found people even from Virginia to be very streetsmart.  See, I just thought Pennsylvania was like the best thing so strived to equal it.  Being from Florida, I knew I had nothing in it without a father from Florida nor some place like NYC.  I just provided the bare bones in life to all I encountered but wasn't considered gung ho.  My mom just seems attuned to moving to Pennsylvania, I bet because the reason they moved here was because my dad's youngest sister moved here, 1st, meaning it would affect like my reason for existence, which would be a peeving insult to her.  I found that I'm not interested in people with Native American indian and am more interested in those with parents from places like California and New Orleans.  I just am worried about having babies with someone who is part Native American who doesn't have like more ancient white culture attached in a place that is Spanish-inhabited.  I don't think I would unless I really liked them because then people would make fun of me.  I knew a girl who moved here from NYC, and her sister was really cool, her little sister.  She seemed totally out physically.  In the New Orleans area, I am not sure, because I know my ballet teacher supposedly studied at a school there, but her family supposedly isn't from there.  It seems rather obvious.  The kids seem less like interesting.  I know some girls with a mom from New Orleans and a dad from the suburb, and their dad is really cool.  The girls are cool but not very sociable but talkative.  They even nursed in prek.  I think people are just really interested in people with heritage from a long time ago in a place that's not like Pennsylvania nor so much just Wisconsin since they're so friendly even to Pennsylvanians, who seem stereotyped as Native Americans interested in the PA Dutch.  I think people mixed with Northern Native Americans ... not very happy people.  The 1s down south are probably pretty creepy but probably provide a lot of cultural incitement like the blacks in NYC.  The 1s in NO are so prejudiced, like if you don't know what "the projects" means.  I still don't.  I just know that me being in the suburb that the fat black lady with the tail of kids hanging from her buttcheeks is whiter than me like my pet hamster that almost committed suicide in its tube I bought it.  How is Chinese Indonesian "the 1?"  The attractive 1.  What about me?  I've spent my whole life warding off showing off like attempts at being attractive or something like that.  I just never was.  Not really sure why my mom is?  My dad is more intellectual but a nice guy intellectually when he's not stupid.  He even plays guitar, like did pop music and now does folksy stuff but not like pleasure folk you know like those old guys?  He's more civilized like his dad.  All I can say is Pennsylvania is sticking for the mixed indians, so no one likes them.  Help save Ginny!  Even Ellen thinks she's so cool being Jewish with an Italian.  She won't figure out some other answer right away.  I mean she would already know.  That Native American girl looks like me, though, so I am not sure.  My mom doesn't have indian, though.  I thought that mixed indians look like my family, but I don't know.  I mean, I look more like that in my skin.  There's this freaky Native American white lady who looks like she's from Altamonte Springs hanging in the theater department of Valencia who died in like 2000.  It's just that I'm a really good person who happens to be indian.  I don't really get it.  It seems sneaky.  I don't know for sure.  I mean, I guess it doesn't matter so much I don't know for sure my European ethnicities.  I do like Middle Eastern, though.