How I Feel

I feel full and weighted down.  :{  I hope I get over it.  I'm tired, too.  I need sleeping pills, but my mom said it's dangerous.

Winded

Good.  Eating.  Making another Buffalo chicken sub with blue cheese.  Having Chef Boyardee canned macaroni and cheese leftovers at the mo, maybe some .. what's it? liverwurst.

Ex er cise

Time to do some workouts ... mmm ... core and chest?

I'm loading like 9 videos of me playing piano and singing some of them.  I need more songs I used to have and some more musical theater books.. which doesn't amount to much, I guess..

What I Have to Do

I want to practice, finish my homework.. make my little shopping list.  I guess I will go to bed, soon, am eating.  Still feel kinda loaded from gymnastics on top of weight training.

Fat or No Fat-.

So, you need to fill up to make up for losing west and wewaxation.

Pain

I'm in a lot of pain.  I need to figure out how to record TV in my room on my sofa where I lie down facing the TV.  I feel so immobile.  3I  I will practice acting, too.  The week has gone by so fast, and I'm doing gymnastics again on Saturday.

Oh, the weather outside is frightful.

It's still so cold here.  I needed my thick jacket, I think.  Tonight wasn't so bad after the workout.  }:)

So

It's just that I get mad when someone does something to me for some little mistake when I'm overly perfect, in fact, and dying!

Like Beth

from Little Women..

I feel tired, have things I want to do, want to lie down.  Had maybe liverwurst, frozen pizza, and a chocolate chip cookie-

Argh!

What should I do now?

I had a burger on thin rye, dog on wheat, Heinz ketchup, asparagus's cooked. 3I in water, chocolate chip and oatmeal cookie.

I am going somewhere tomorrow at 10:45 A.M., will be out for nearly ½ day.  I should really go to bed but will stay up and do things, hopefully go to bed, assume the food will make me tired, was gonna go for a jog but think I need to look for dresses.  }:]

Y

Why do bad people make a fuss when they see another attractive person?  I mean, before my brother was born, though, I remember my head was shaped a bit funnily but better than his.  Why would I be my brother?  I mean, why isn't anyone else jealous?

Poofed Out

I'm poofed out?..

I just cleaned the bathroom for my brother.  Put in new toilet drops, haven't had them in awhile.

How I'm Feeling

I'm actually feeling quite low.  I didn't jog yesterday..  Also, I didn't get enough sleep the night before.  I guess tonight I slept ...  dunno really maybe 10-11 hours.  Kinda stimulating myself the whole time.  Now, I'm just kinda hungry and tired..  xp  Wanna go shopping.

Dreams

I had a dream I killed Ginny Kopf.  In the end, I heard a few low drums of no consequence really, just th..anyway and then she exploded into lots of little glittery dust, as though she committed suicide.  '=s  The funny thing is I don't remember what I was doing 1st, but I know I was flying around a big place with lots of sorta plant-like buildings, kinda bleak.  I felt there was some big spirit flying me around, though, so I guess I was not the 1 flying?  I liked feeling that I was being held on my crotch, but I got some ideas I tried to process.  I realized that you can find anyone online at school in their city.  I decided, though, that I wanted to do something about safety but always realize that death is just around the corner.  Other interesting things, I felt like my feet were like pushing pedals like of that famous organ song.  I also felt my body nearer to the end before that as the result of being like a jelly worm, you know gel..  Those gummies.  ;D  From doing ballet, like it wasn't a good idea but hwen you do it it is.  I wish I remembered my other dreams, but I was more conscious with this 1, like before.  I think when I fell asleep this time, I felt dead from something, like the medicine as the end.  It's like because I wasn't famous with a lot of money from wishing to be an actor while I was on MySpace.  So, anyway, I was flying around a long time, felt touched, felt strong, the stronger overall feeling or whatever was the situation.  Oh well, wish I could remember more.  It was sorrowful and somber.  It was like it was a scary, black, from the past like my past life or dead, like a Ghost of Christmas, sorta going with me on a journey I was taking or happened to take because of her.  I still feel a big force around my crotch, and it feels like huge, puffy, not too old arms.  I woke up, and my blessed fingers were like big puffs.  I guess I did it to myself, as usual.  It's always interesting, but it won't last.  I used to feel I wish it would last.  :|

So, if you want to know what I did in bed, I could feel in Cleveland, my blankets feeling celestial like they put kinda a lot of sorta involuntary|voluntary, you know random.., pressure on me, like a spirit, that it was a person.  My bed also pulsed in a very surreal way.  I used to imagine the life in my eyes suddenly like crossing mainly.. and myself fucking the tubes!  D;  I tried it as much I could, like I would not stot, like I had to do it, like there was no point in thinking of other things in bed, myself.  I can't seem to do that, now, here.  I just was distracted, in the end..  I used to go around to RDV and sit around, a magical place, while my mom was busy.  I'd watch the people and feel I was in a magical world, really, but for some reason it had to dye away.

Ow

My head hurts from being mad and m***********.  I am glad for Spring Break but not really but it will give me a chance to catch up on sleep and have a better rest of the semester.  I have a workbook assignment, 3 things or small things, in Weight Training I.  In Theater, we'll read a children's book, the voice class, but we can't start early.  I asked, after class..  I mean, I tried to sleep, but I ate and then watched some videos and packed, was gonna wake up at 3, know sometimes I don't sleep.  I mean, I'll be fine, but I'll be agitated trying to sleep at school, like before..  I have to do a character analysis and print out my journals.  I have to block something, too.  I guess I'll do it after weight training, but I really really want to jog but you know probably won't.  I'll get out of Weight Training at 10:15.  I have to eat lunch by noon and then my shower, which takes me until class starts.  So, I'll have 10:15-noon to do all my homework and purchase my book maybe before class I guess.  The bookstore opens at 8, so I'll go buy my book and jog and then do weight training.  Then, I guess I can do the character analysis in the library.  I did it on another paper but didn't copy it, so it'll be fun to do again.  If I finish early, I mean, I guess I won't.  :(  I'll have to jog over the holidays..  I might do the character analysis at school at like let's see 7?  Yea?  But might be sleeping?  We'll see.  So, I'm ready, ponytail, contact lenses, ready to pack the case, cell phone, bar of soap..cell phone case.  :|  Everything seems packed.  Lost my lunchbox but have my lunch packed.  I guess no one will play tennis, but I'll be out there to see.  Money packed...  :/  Guess I'll look for stuff for St. Patrick's day.  I mean I had so much ************ in my sleep in a way..so much stress, too, and like I just don't feel right not sure why I'm up.  Maybe, I should separate myself from the rest of the class.  :(  I mean, I was in the very back!  There was no room.  The whole class was like feeling for me I guess by the way the teacher talked, though I don't know if she really saw me!  :|

dun dun dun dun

dun wanna go ta bed

So

I don't wish to teach ballet @ 5 AM, so you can take a shower @ 6, maybe dry your hair and apply makeup by 7?  Maybe not, I like 2 hours, though..not sure why, but it's in the afternoon..  :|  Because people sleep 10-6 ideally.  Just pick business.  Construction sometimes?  Dunno.  That's 8 hours in the bed, maybe a quiet evening with a jog or stuff alternating, the gym, a swim.  So, I wish to teach Rainbow kids on Fridays, was thinking 4 PM because dunno something happens later.. ah yes the mall and the movies, even.  I mean, I guess it could be at 7-8, but the mall here closes at 9.  I mean, you can walk outside.  I'd been going to the mall on the weekends.  Aw, I guess I have nothing to teach.  What will I do next semester for exercise?  I like coming at 5 A.M., the transportation is better, have to wake up at 4 if I'm just going to exercise..

Up-

So, I got up and redid my nails, cooking another burger and dog.  Have my mac and cheese out.. maybe some liverwurst?  Cake?  That'll put me to bed, then it's up at 3:30 A.M.  Should I make that 3:45 A.M.?

So

Do you m*********?  I used to not, but I think from taking too much gymnastics I did.  I guess I didn't have any fun, and I was a good gymnast..  3I

Did I tell you?

I got Frizz Ease products.  :|