8 Years

Ginny is fat, and most fat people are agreeable yet uninteresting.  I'm not sure if I ever had a successful relationship with any unhealthy person.  I don't just want a skinny, dorky friend.  She also thinks she has a more attractive background and that that's dirt.  Maybe, she's just a sorry case.  Her mom made her attractive so she would be hygienic.  I don't take for granted what my mom did for me.  You can't just assume it's the bastard cause that morale ain't so.  It was only about crazy, drunk fathers.  My dad is tacky because he ain't skinny, and he don't work out, no more.  Also, kids have to have traits from each parent.  I needed to work out, but it seemed like I'd done too much gymnastics, not much good in way of dance, I guess.  I mean, there's not necessarily like a certain option.  I was struggling between ballet and jazz/lyrical.  Now, it seems to not help, nothing I do.  I sit around at home, people just keep thinking my dad is gonna hurt them, send them a hurtful message.  Just think about how Tim Burton and Johnny Depp changed the world.  I remember it was the people, but Tim Burton is crass.  He was kind unrelenting to people who wanted to be actors rather than not be actors.  I wouldn't accept it.  Why should he have a daughter, at all?  No one gives a fuck, fuck fuck fuck like a duck.  You, like Ginny, is just waiting for the perfect person to come around and keep barking at me for seeming too atypical for having a mixed European father with typical family names and a Chinese mom who is typically attractive from her younger age..  That proves Tim Burton lied that he's not really holding out for a good reason but for selfish reasons.  I guess that's why I chose Johnny Depp and then found he depended on Tim Burton but that Tim Burton pretty much didn't feel good about his not being able to act.  I mean, my mom and I could get him in shape, but he's with "stupe-id" He~le~na Bonham Carter.  I was getting better.  He just needs people to talk to.  Sit at a computer and find someone to talk to on a message forum.  Start walking and jogging, do the core workouts and weights for the health of yur blessed arms.  It's your fault for not being a total person.  Lazy people from California.  Go suck a fish corpse.  Talk to people, or you'll get fat and die, like the old days.  Stop getting high on artificial attention.  I never get any attention.  It's all hidden traps.  You're just gonna say, hug your dad.  What about my mom?  I didn't say I wanted to hug Tim Burton.  I just kinda deal with it but can hug other people.  I mean, what would happen?  I would just sorta lose my tease, like I did with my dad.  I just wanted a nice relationship.  I guess it was special to him.  I'm not really gonna hug Ginny.  I just want to set her straight, to understand she's crap, she acts like she has some like nonexistent program in Orlando because it's Disney.  You have to go completely into something, you can't get too much good attention like of fate thinking coincidences are miracles.  You know, she doesn't use Facebook much.  I don't know how most people know her.  They might look up things in Orlando.  You know, people in Theater in places like New Orleans.  People wouldn't post to her much.  It's funny, I spent a lot of time bettering myself and kinda have a lot to spray.  I guess I'm not in a certain mood.  I mean, it just seems like things used to be different, like no matter what I did.  If there's something wrong, it's Orlando's fault, crappy Orlando.  It's not like, I'm just there and no one can do anything with me.  What the hell is that?  Am I losing memory?  Why aren't things getting better?  I'm still in the program.  If you're not good enough, then leave me alone.  People who are good are never supposed to turn anyone down and not hear what they have to say, like Gahndi.  You know, I don't care what you think about me having a dad from Pennsylvania.  I know you just care about the Pennsylvania Dutch.  Why not knock out other states while you're at it, like Delaware?  I mean, I had a fun friend family from there.  You know, Ginny, I don't give a shit what these so-called "Floridians" think.  Florida is a beach state.  It is not the only place you can be modern.  Say what you will, that's what they think.  Why do you even feed the birds?  Don't you like me?  I just want to find out what happened, why you are just being mean because of Tim Burton and why people are ignoring me online but later on people won't.  That's the only way to communicate, people live online.  Why not accept that I mean no ill will to anyone.  I just want to do my homework and have a good time.  Having a good time is not illegal.  Why is everyone like gawking over Ginny and feeling sorry for her teaching the children who believe in shit?  I mean, I am not that kind of person.  That's all you've thought of while I've been submitting myself to this.  I just want a good time.  I want to see people!  Is that so hard to ask?  I don't even know if I want to be famous.  I want to meet famous people, though.  I'm lonely, no one wants to approach me nor admit I seem, like, popular.  You all are denying me that for 8 years!

Facebook Post

I just called to ask you when it was, guess I will have to call you tomorrow if I don't ask on Thursday while I'm waiting for my Therapist appointment.  I don't really know anyone in Orlando, so I don't know who to ask to come with me.  Lots of people I know have been interested in singing and things..  :(

♥ http://cab1986orlfl20.blogspot.com/2013/02/20130227-1.html

To: ginny.kopf

"Join me for the next Voice workshop! The Professional Voice (which includes training for the world of Voiceovers) starts Sunday 2-5. Call and we'll talk all about how it can help you get the acting work you want, whether it's voiceover, commercials, narrations, infomercials, and for vocal improvement for any kind of business you are in. It'll give you CONFIDENCE and CONTROL in your auditions and communication. Ginny Kopf 407-381-5275"

I think the voice is a personality tool and today I croaked up an emotion. Most people have something like a slur. They think their voice is just a product of their health. They don't even think about how their nose affects their voice. They don't even use singing in their lives... They don't care about race and don't attune to the accents like New York state, Boston & NYC, South Carolina and Georgia, the New Orleans dialect, and then the country, sometimes thought to be "the west." Floridians and Californians are really annoying but open, but I can't do anything about it because I'm a Floridian and people aren't open to me since my mom they somehow know is tan I guess and my dad might have Native American indian and the seemingly common German Jewish, like a lot of people. They really won't help me if I'm Native American. I just realized that in the south, they are more comfortable, the Native Americans. So, yes, I do have and have been told by my peers all the time when I was cool that I have a pure Floridian accent or rather that I have no accent I'm from Florida my accent is no accent that is the way everyone should be!!! I heard in L.A. and I guess throughout California.. like San Fransisco and the area that they have the Valley Girls and I grew to like it when I was in the New Orleans region. I heard that was all there was and all there will ever be, that there will be no new generations. :| Yes.. They just have really ***y voices and aren't muddled up in northern culture, but I had this friend who I think has a dad or maybe also mom from Canada. xp So... :| They not only have the pure voice but are so ...ed up, you know? They won't even think straight. They're like a hiccup, a ditzy. They just want to know where your parents are from because people from up north want to .... me for being from Florida and then criticize me for having blood from Scranton, etc.. PA Dutch? Also somewhere in NY. Like, they want to hurt me for my culture but never my voice. See, my mom has a European accent. You know, Ginny, not everybody can sing. I had to learn. My parents love good music. I grew up close to my mom ***ually but didn't like feel that tingly feeling so much. With my dad, we had the proper English relationship, no ... with my dad. I don't know about my brother, he's not very European and mocks me under protection of my parents.. I al ways grew up being the most European and was whiter than everyone else I told the people in the racial crisis type forum, but I changed since then. 8| In Loo eez ee anna lazy louisiana, they thought I was a foreign exchange student because of my mom. I actually sang more alone, there, so my accent kinda was lost. Oh, I just called but see you must have already gone to bed after class, I would but decided to do more singing and am eating and had to get my stuff etc., loading some practice videos, too. In Orlando, I got a sorta s--- voice.. I picked up on the tacky things here, also had this ½ Spanish ballet teacher who was young who said things funny maybe like brruther. I also picked up on the really low things in the New Orleans area. I didn't really connect with the girl from San Fransisco's voice. :| Same with the girl from L.A. I just don't in that sorta bland, raspy way. I finally got rid of the accent of the girl from NYC I'm working with for a lot of the part.. So, I feed off of people from California. I see you feed off of people from certain places. I saw Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Washington (state,) 2 from Wisconsin. Ah I'm gonna go eat guess I'll catch you later.. :) I see we can't Share, anymore, is there a reason? I see that sometimes.

Hi, yes, I would like to come. I hope this is a big turnout. I guess I have to make sure I ask you where it is. If it's not in your home, I wonder if there will be a nice place to eat. :) My mom can't make it, and I'll probably just go without my dad. I see people I knew online in Northeastern Florida.. but they haven't spoken to me and are busy with their lives, would like to come some of them, though. Even my aunts are busy. 1 of them might not be. You'd know she's about your age.. but she doesn't e-mail me, now, I guess because I haven't e-mailed her lately.  I don't seem to know anyone in Orlando but know I've seen people thru my mom.

Y

Why are ALL the attractive adults off limits?  Idon't want to talk to anyone.

Problem

You can't tell me how to deal with other people.  They can figure out what they want for themselves and not just decide I'm not some exception and that bad kids only get to feel comforted.

Memorizing

So, I have to read a script through e-mail I found from who I was working with.

I just had issues with the memorizing, like grasping that fact.

Everyone else was, like, perfect, some with longer parts. The girl I work with from NYC forgot and had to be reminded.

However, they were all like dead, socially, as usual. My voice today supposedly was softer sick.

I sat where the teacher was pressing against the seats. I don't know why she was so nice but informed that I do hand gestures.

The thing is ya I happen to know it all. She went over what to do if you mess up.

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