Dream

I had this good feeling walking around.  So, I was at this lot, like on a floor of a lot by an airport, like at a theater class, like Ellen DeGeneres was the teacher.  I was thinking about my mom's age.  I kept feeling good the whole time, like based with all over.  I don't distinctly remember the instructor.  I filed in early and found people in the class, 1 was like tall with light medium brown hair, bnags, glasses, straight smooth hair, another maybe black and kinda like the girl I'm working with a little plump a good height, another girl the same stature but white maybe like reddish darker hair, the other maybe some similar blend, maybe a little taller and slimmer.  I kept walking around, but I kept feeling good.  I think the instructor was like looking over shouting.  She was like concerned and caring but supposedly strict academically.  It's an interesting way to be, maybe was also looking for Ginny but not actually in this dream but probablya distant thought.

8 Years

Ginny is fat, and most fat people are agreeable yet uninteresting.  I'm not sure if I ever had a successful relationship with any unhealthy person.  I don't just want a skinny, dorky friend.  She also thinks she has a more attractive background and that that's dirt.  Maybe, she's just a sorry case.  Her mom made her attractive so she would be hygienic.  I don't take for granted what my mom did for me.  You can't just assume it's the bastard cause that morale ain't so.  It was only about crazy, drunk fathers.  My dad is tacky because he ain't skinny, and he don't work out, no more.  Also, kids have to have traits from each parent.  I needed to work out, but it seemed like I'd done too much gymnastics, not much good in way of dance, I guess.  I mean, there's not necessarily like a certain option.  I was struggling between ballet and jazz/lyrical.  Now, it seems to not help, nothing I do.  I sit around at home, people just keep thinking my dad is gonna hurt them, send them a hurtful message.  Just think about how Tim Burton and Johnny Depp changed the world.  I remember it was the people, but Tim Burton is crass.  He was kind unrelenting to people who wanted to be actors rather than not be actors.  I wouldn't accept it.  Why should he have a daughter, at all?  No one gives a fuck, fuck fuck fuck like a duck.  You, like Ginny, is just waiting for the perfect person to come around and keep barking at me for seeming too atypical for having a mixed European father with typical family names and a Chinese mom who is typically attractive from her younger age..  That proves Tim Burton lied that he's not really holding out for a good reason but for selfish reasons.  I guess that's why I chose Johnny Depp and then found he depended on Tim Burton but that Tim Burton pretty much didn't feel good about his not being able to act.  I mean, my mom and I could get him in shape, but he's with "stupe-id" He~le~na Bonham Carter.  I was getting better.  He just needs people to talk to.  Sit at a computer and find someone to talk to on a message forum.  Start walking and jogging, do the core workouts and weights for the health of yur blessed arms.  It's your fault for not being a total person.  Lazy people from California.  Go suck a fish corpse.  Talk to people, or you'll get fat and die, like the old days.  Stop getting high on artificial attention.  I never get any attention.  It's all hidden traps.  You're just gonna say, hug your dad.  What about my mom?  I didn't say I wanted to hug Tim Burton.  I just kinda deal with it but can hug other people.  I mean, what would happen?  I would just sorta lose my tease, like I did with my dad.  I just wanted a nice relationship.  I guess it was special to him.  I'm not really gonna hug Ginny.  I just want to set her straight, to understand she's crap, she acts like she has some like nonexistent program in Orlando because it's Disney.  You have to go completely into something, you can't get too much good attention like of fate thinking coincidences are miracles.  You know, she doesn't use Facebook much.  I don't know how most people know her.  They might look up things in Orlando.  You know, people in Theater in places like New Orleans.  People wouldn't post to her much.  It's funny, I spent a lot of time bettering myself and kinda have a lot to spray.  I guess I'm not in a certain mood.  I mean, it just seems like things used to be different, like no matter what I did.  If there's something wrong, it's Orlando's fault, crappy Orlando.  It's not like, I'm just there and no one can do anything with me.  What the hell is that?  Am I losing memory?  Why aren't things getting better?  I'm still in the program.  If you're not good enough, then leave me alone.  People who are good are never supposed to turn anyone down and not hear what they have to say, like Gahndi.  You know, I don't care what you think about me having a dad from Pennsylvania.  I know you just care about the Pennsylvania Dutch.  Why not knock out other states while you're at it, like Delaware?  I mean, I had a fun friend family from there.  You know, Ginny, I don't give a shit what these so-called "Floridians" think.  Florida is a beach state.  It is not the only place you can be modern.  Say what you will, that's what they think.  Why do you even feed the birds?  Don't you like me?  I just want to find out what happened, why you are just being mean because of Tim Burton and why people are ignoring me online but later on people won't.  That's the only way to communicate, people live online.  Why not accept that I mean no ill will to anyone.  I just want to do my homework and have a good time.  Having a good time is not illegal.  Why is everyone like gawking over Ginny and feeling sorry for her teaching the children who believe in shit?  I mean, I am not that kind of person.  That's all you've thought of while I've been submitting myself to this.  I just want a good time.  I want to see people!  Is that so hard to ask?  I don't even know if I want to be famous.  I want to meet famous people, though.  I'm lonely, no one wants to approach me nor admit I seem, like, popular.  You all are denying me that for 8 years!

Disney World

Why is Ginny so sarcastic like Órla Karron Fallon and Ellen DeGeneres?  She acted like the kids here who are from Orlando since maybe around age 13 set themselves up to hypnotize themselves to submission that they had a fair shot at life compared to most people and that they did the right thing but that they were some *** object to Ginny just because she is like famous for doing the talking at Disney or something since the 80s.  The fact is it's just because she's attractive, too, and not like someone too skinny born like around the time of Céline Dion - and why do you find it tacky I mentioned her because it's not.  I haven't really heard anyone talk about it so don't know.  I want to talk about it, just mention it ... gotta problem, just trying to impress someone, trying to achieve some contrapted ideal?  I have a feeling it won't work ~ Just admit that she's ***y and has good ideals but gawp at the fact she's born in 1958 and has a mom from California, maybe appreciate her dad being from Pittsburgh-  I met up with people from another area, and their kids's mistake is that they are stuck up about working, like no one should help them in thinking about working, selling souveniers at Wicked, which is about the Wizard of Oz..  Bottom line don't sit there and shit with me about my parents's heritage, I'm not supposed to have to suffer because of it.  So, I mean, these kids are pressuring me not to succeed.  I want to find a place I can go, but I want to stay here so I can live easily.  They think you have to sit there and think you're nothing to encourage others to think they're nothing, have no goal they are striving for, think it's desirable, yet tacky, won't admit they have to go pleasure themselves themselves.  I know I used to be like that but not in that way.  I mean, I looked presentable, I didn't like role my eyes and buzz my lips at the teacher and show off my, like, nigger skin cells.  I didn't approve of thinking things were shit just to put off what I was supposed to do.  I wanted to be like you were supposed to, didn't think I was supposed to be like a beggar on the street, not sure how to elaborate on that nor shout it out.  Why is Ginny so inhibited.  Everyone I know who's moved here is outspoken.  Ginny just thinks I'm an adult, shoudln't know my age.  She doesn't respond appropriately, just doesn't really seem that accomplished.  It's bugging me, I don't want to have to respect like some thing she's saying I'm not good enough for when everyone before Tim Burton came around would like approach me, and no one will accept the new me.  No one even accepts I'm a kid to my mom, anymore.  My dad was already off.  He will cycle into the thought that he's not.  The kids here are totally the opposite and I can't get the pressure off to stop thinking about the pressure they have on me, that I need their attention or needed it, in some way.  They just won't get off.  I guess it's keeping me from thinking.  I want to feel attractive, not like Floridian scum.  I mean, Florida was supposed to be a good place, has a nice sea breeze and Disney World.

So

You think that people who moved to Florida later than me are more from Florida?  Who are you comparing me to?  Ellen DeGeneres leaving New Orleans?  Tim Burton directing for the world?

Dream

I think I was sitting in Ginny's big lap.  I forget the nostalgia, the "violence" or danger.

Later on, I was in this huge class, had been trying to sign up for ballet for a few times around.  So, I was in this huge computer like sorta hall-feeling room, getting my stuff, passed this naughty girl who was rather stocky, fuzzy mousy light blonde hair.  So, some reason, I was in a bus with Ellen DeGeneres, and I was supposed to film myself as though I had a headband on.  I told her to do it, and she was stuck on the idea that I was supposed to do it kinda but I was so quick to flip the lid that that wasn't an issue that existed.  It felt like I was really there.  So, then, the popular girl in front was like acting like a lot of kids do and said can I sit on your lap or something ... don't remember what happened, but she was acting funny.  I think like it was about people from California.  So, then, like people were jumping off or stuff.  I think when I did something she jumped off.  I think I fell off, and someone would get me, but they knocked the old tall lady out and then it was like she liked me.  Then, I was thinking about how Ellen DeGeneres said like she wasn't that big at, like, 11, and I sorta cowered up and said I was as big as I ever was just fatter now..  So, I was thinking about how she was so tall but why she filled out.  I guess I had a little happy, thinking I was dead and walking over to her and she was supposed to pick me up because I was so much younger than her and a kid and like she was an age of my mom..  I woke up..

I also had a dream of Alice in Wonderland, that she wasn't short, in a big image.  Ah, yes, and the mother was in the car and I had another situation before where they approved me.

Differentiation

People think Ellen is from the right generation, we care about a weird thing like the difference between men and women of the same generation because - IT - IS - NOT - - 1950..

Doesn't Like

So, Ellen DeGeneres doesn't like New Orleans and therefore I don't care about her having *** with her mother..

The Good Stuff

Did you ever think how Ellen DeGeneres gets "something" over with and then you never really end up experiencing anything very ***ual|pleasurable|interesting??

Commonfolk

The 1 thing people like to commonly look for is to make sure I'm not in on something good because I had this friend from up north who acted like I was tacky all the time, and now Tim Burton the nigger and Ellen the Generes his minion worship her, when she won't write back a proper note.

The Experience

Ellen DeGeneres had a lot of ***.  She doesn't want any people who are in the pubic stages to experience emotion.  8|

L.ong sleeves.

What do you think of flashy "Ell en DeGeneres" showing off in her L.ong sleeves?

Unfair in Comparison

Why was I made fun of for keep going?  I know my dad "was unfair to my mom."

Ever think that people from other places don't really accept Elle DeGeneres?

I mean, I probably should have been more healthier to take voice.  Would have been nice.  Should find a European teacher.  Also want to take some sort of class from Ginny.  Probably not diction.  I feel as though I'd want to teach her to sing.  She could just have fun with me and like see if she knows squat.  I mean, she works with speakers and also with singers to speak, so that is very important.  I don't also just hang out with singers, I hang out with people to hang out.

Admit It

So, Ellen DeGeneres admits to Tim Burton, no, I don't do what I say.  I act like I don't care, but I do.  I just don't really know the answer.  You know, though, says Christina, I think I do.

Y R U

Why are you getting rid of attractive dads born in 1950?

Oops! I forgot I was racist.

What do you think of Ellen being afraid to be attractive, like doing something attractive, like letting people she clings to be attractive?  Get it on Ellen, oops I forgot I was racist.

OK, OK

So, Ellen is a maniac about going to your grandparents for heritage, what a bitch.  :/

Annoyed

The lighting on my cell phone is funny. Ginny and Ellen are Burtonesques niggers.

So, did someone do this to me? I'm tired of being told I don't have the right experiences.

Hey, leave me alone, niggers, I didn't do anything.

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Y

Why do I get the idea that people like Ellen DeGeneres are subbing in suggestions like I can't get mad? I don't care, just noticing.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Problem

So, Ellen brushes aside a plethora of crap she spews online or whatever..

So, why would my mom be NYC Sears tower crap?  She wants to be something but is respectful, considered whiter than people they like.  How dumb.  Don't ruin my mom, you uglies, I know what you think you did not do.  Just **** Ellen.  :{  I think Ellen is gay and mean.  She's too gay to speak her mind because she's not that white?

Problems

So, these gay farts born in the mid 40s think that they said like okay it's your choice to be quality old-fashioned European.  Now, like, they just flubbed up.  Wow, what a big deal over nothing.  Talk about power at the wheel.

I got another idea that Ginny is riding along the idea I'm like my little brother.  That's totally Hellenistic.  Let's make my dad his dead brothers.  Come on, you nigger.  You dumb fuck.

What else?  I got some violent thoughts @ Lily Rose.  I got the idea she's communicated with people who know me.. and put that picture up to say that I was old like my dad and my relations go in that way to someone who is racist against me.  They worsened as my mom like chimed in, supposedly under influence of my dad.  She would get mad at these thoughts, but I mean she just gets mad if she sees me thinking mad things about her because I can't help it.  I don't know what she does when I thought of things like that.  I'm grown up, now, so it doesn't matter.  She might see there is a reason and I don't mean it and it might be other people's faults.  I didn't want to.  I finally felt theraputic and calmed down, but then my mom made me mad again by thinking it was a joke like Ellen.

Hey, why is Ginny so flippant and intent on making other successful people feel like crap?  That's no one's fault Ginny.  I don't feel sorry for the likes of you in Florida..  What the fuck is your problem?  I wonder if she is on Facebook and blocked me.  She doesn't have many new friends.  I could ask her after class.. you know, she rushes after class, but I hope it's not because of Facebook.  She can teach me once a week.  Why does she bother talking to anyone, that goddamn nigger.  Why don't we just **** her?

What's this sentiment I sound like my little brother when talking about shit like Lily Rose and "Órla" "Karron" "Fallon."  Also, stop saying I offended you by not being as ***y as my mom because her race isn't white.  What's this shit with my dad now?  I thought that was settled, you goddamn nigger.