8 Years

Ginny is fat, and most fat people are agreeable yet uninteresting.  I'm not sure if I ever had a successful relationship with any unhealthy person.  I don't just want a skinny, dorky friend.  She also thinks she has a more attractive background and that that's dirt.  Maybe, she's just a sorry case.  Her mom made her attractive so she would be hygienic.  I don't take for granted what my mom did for me.  You can't just assume it's the bastard cause that morale ain't so.  It was only about crazy, drunk fathers.  My dad is tacky because he ain't skinny, and he don't work out, no more.  Also, kids have to have traits from each parent.  I needed to work out, but it seemed like I'd done too much gymnastics, not much good in way of dance, I guess.  I mean, there's not necessarily like a certain option.  I was struggling between ballet and jazz/lyrical.  Now, it seems to not help, nothing I do.  I sit around at home, people just keep thinking my dad is gonna hurt them, send them a hurtful message.  Just think about how Tim Burton and Johnny Depp changed the world.  I remember it was the people, but Tim Burton is crass.  He was kind unrelenting to people who wanted to be actors rather than not be actors.  I wouldn't accept it.  Why should he have a daughter, at all?  No one gives a fuck, fuck fuck fuck like a duck.  You, like Ginny, is just waiting for the perfect person to come around and keep barking at me for seeming too atypical for having a mixed European father with typical family names and a Chinese mom who is typically attractive from her younger age..  That proves Tim Burton lied that he's not really holding out for a good reason but for selfish reasons.  I guess that's why I chose Johnny Depp and then found he depended on Tim Burton but that Tim Burton pretty much didn't feel good about his not being able to act.  I mean, my mom and I could get him in shape, but he's with "stupe-id" He~le~na Bonham Carter.  I was getting better.  He just needs people to talk to.  Sit at a computer and find someone to talk to on a message forum.  Start walking and jogging, do the core workouts and weights for the health of yur blessed arms.  It's your fault for not being a total person.  Lazy people from California.  Go suck a fish corpse.  Talk to people, or you'll get fat and die, like the old days.  Stop getting high on artificial attention.  I never get any attention.  It's all hidden traps.  You're just gonna say, hug your dad.  What about my mom?  I didn't say I wanted to hug Tim Burton.  I just kinda deal with it but can hug other people.  I mean, what would happen?  I would just sorta lose my tease, like I did with my dad.  I just wanted a nice relationship.  I guess it was special to him.  I'm not really gonna hug Ginny.  I just want to set her straight, to understand she's crap, she acts like she has some like nonexistent program in Orlando because it's Disney.  You have to go completely into something, you can't get too much good attention like of fate thinking coincidences are miracles.  You know, she doesn't use Facebook much.  I don't know how most people know her.  They might look up things in Orlando.  You know, people in Theater in places like New Orleans.  People wouldn't post to her much.  It's funny, I spent a lot of time bettering myself and kinda have a lot to spray.  I guess I'm not in a certain mood.  I mean, it just seems like things used to be different, like no matter what I did.  If there's something wrong, it's Orlando's fault, crappy Orlando.  It's not like, I'm just there and no one can do anything with me.  What the hell is that?  Am I losing memory?  Why aren't things getting better?  I'm still in the program.  If you're not good enough, then leave me alone.  People who are good are never supposed to turn anyone down and not hear what they have to say, like Gahndi.  You know, I don't care what you think about me having a dad from Pennsylvania.  I know you just care about the Pennsylvania Dutch.  Why not knock out other states while you're at it, like Delaware?  I mean, I had a fun friend family from there.  You know, Ginny, I don't give a shit what these so-called "Floridians" think.  Florida is a beach state.  It is not the only place you can be modern.  Say what you will, that's what they think.  Why do you even feed the birds?  Don't you like me?  I just want to find out what happened, why you are just being mean because of Tim Burton and why people are ignoring me online but later on people won't.  That's the only way to communicate, people live online.  Why not accept that I mean no ill will to anyone.  I just want to do my homework and have a good time.  Having a good time is not illegal.  Why is everyone like gawking over Ginny and feeling sorry for her teaching the children who believe in shit?  I mean, I am not that kind of person.  That's all you've thought of while I've been submitting myself to this.  I just want a good time.  I want to see people!  Is that so hard to ask?  I don't even know if I want to be famous.  I want to meet famous people, though.  I'm lonely, no one wants to approach me nor admit I seem, like, popular.  You all are denying me that for 8 years!